This question changed my life

Everyone always talks about men and their mid life crisis, and let's face it it often involves a sports car and a much younger woman!

But no one talks about women and the mid life crisis they will choose to have or simply brush under the carpet.

I remember mine so clearly, and the crisis part actually took way longer as mine unravelled…

You see, one day I was brave enough to ask myself one simple question.

“Is that all there is?”

And the “is” I was referring to was my life… 

“Is that as good as it gets?”

My immediate response was…. “Surely not?”

And that response led me on a journey that unravelled the life I had created towards what is now the most magical life…. 

I just made that sound easy… it was not, at all… It was the most confusing, exhilarating, depressing and enlightening whirlwind of a time…..

I fought hard every single day, I had to… It was way too easy to slip back into “easy”.

This was, at the time, the hardest 2 years of my life….

Rediscovering the true and authentic me and merging that with my more current identity of mother….

And realising what had to be let go in the process…

My life motto had always been “question everything” and it was something I had drilled into my girls… 

And yet it had taken me 20 years in a relationship before I actually questioned whether it was right for me.

To know me now you would not realise that I in fact dampened my spirit for a long long time… 

Way too long….

And I didn’t realise that my soul was being crushed little by little… 

It was sneaky, and built up over time until I asked myself that life changing question…

And even though I asked myself that question…… Well…

My courage to make a change took 2 years to come to fruition…. 

No one really understood, how could they? 

It wasn’t happening to them and they didn’t see anything wrong with my life… 

“It's just a bump in the road” was the most common statement.

It was a lonely journey…. 

I didn’t know what the answer was, and in the pursuit of answers I made mistakes… 

But at least I knew they weren't on the right path..

And little did I know at the time that journey as lonely and hard as it was was nothing compared to the self discovery that would occur post divorce… (that’s a story for another day)

So, what did I realise on this journey?

That I am worth it.

That my truth in how I show up in the world is not only important for me but was also important for me to show that to my girls.

Living a life half lived was no longer an option.

Dampening my spirit was no longer an option.

Settling for “easy” was no longer an option.

It’s not as good as it gets, and it is possible to have an amazing fulfilled life.

YOU get to choose how good it can be.

YOU get to choose…. period.

Go choose YOU, and know I’ve got your back.

That’s why I’m writing about this…. I know many of you settle, just because… 

Just because that’s easier…

But I want to ask you this…

Don’t YOU deserve the best life you can have?

To light up your soul each and every day.

To show up as the authentic YOU.

To bring your heart and soul to the world, 

So that you be your very own unicorn.

And you can sparkle that shit everywhere…

That’s living life.

I know, because this is one of the ways I sparkle my shit everywhere.

Choose YOU.

I got you xxx

P.S Want to learn more about what it takes to be an Independent Money Chick? Click here to download the manifesto